Learning to manage your feelings and emotions is one of the key skills for successful change. This approach is key to changes from addictive behaviours, stress, anger, depression, weight management, and any activity where motivation is key to making successful change.
However you live your life, it takes that form because it is the best way of doing things for you. If there was a better way of doing, which met all your needs you would be doing it. This message often confuses people, especially when people are doing something which clearly is not healthy or useful for their long term plans such as abusing drugs or spending frivolously when they have long term plans which are dependent on them on saving up.
Learning to manage your feelings and emotions is a difficult skill to master if it is something which is something which you may have been discouraged from doing. If you do not express your emotions safely then they will be expressed in unhelpful ways through either extreme anger, sarcasm, depression, anxiety, sleeplessness, violence, or a complete mental breakdown and so it is essential that you learn to express yourself in a healthy manner.
The initial process of learning to express your feelings is just to say how you feel at any point that you are aware of how you feel. This should include all the emotions which society has encouraged us to express, such as feeling happy, excited and grateful and also ones which challenge the archaic ‘stiff upper lip’ approach to having emotions which come from the Victorian era, which include, feeling nervous, anxious, angry, afraid or the non-specific vulnerable.
By acknowledging how you feel then you are able to employ effective strategies to manage those feelings and emotions (many tips can be found on this site).
By expressing the negative feelings, just by expressing them something incredible happens…
YOU FEEL BETTER!!!
Yep it is that simple if you express to someone how you feel, nothing else, it releases that feeling and immediately you feel differently and more importantly, the intensity of the feeling reduces and withers even if the reason for feeling like this does not.
Emotions are like mould, if you keep them buried and in the dark then they grow and grow and eventually take control of what they are growing on. To take that control back, let them see the light of day and release them to the outside world.
Managing your emotions is essential to dealing with your motivation and for some issues like weight management, addictions self harm, depression and anxiety it is possible to join support groups to help you learn to express your emotions but if you feel that you do not have an outlet or any friends that you can learn to express your emotions use either professional help, online support groups or the Samaritans service where there is always someone who will listen to you. For more info on emotional intelligence here.